Saturday, April 11, 2009

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Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Why Some People Don’t Set Goals

Setting goals is an important part of life. Yet, some people choose not to do so. There are several reasons why. Let’s go over some of them:
Not Having the “Know How”. There is always going to be something that someone doesn’t know how to do, but that’s not an excuse to at least have a draft of some goals on paper. It’s always been said that if you don’t know how to do something, then ask someone who does.
Not Wanting Responsibility. Setting goals means taking responsibility for our own lives and some people prefer not to do that. They would rather keep complaining over and over again than taking responsibility for what is and taking actual steps to change it.
If you accept that you have complete responsibility for your life, you will view goals as means to help you change the undesirable situation.
The Circle of Friends. “Be careful of the company you keep” – this was told us many times throughout our lives. There are people who don’t think much about setting goals for themselves. They don’t realize how much setting goals can help them in their current everyday lives and in the achievement of success in the future. The people that you hang around with can either have a positive or negative effect on your life. There are those that will encourage you and others that will discourage you and try to bring you down to their level. They don’t understand why you’re seeking to do more. This is what is called the crab mentality. When one tries to go up, the others pull him down.
Having goals in life is very important: they give us a sense of direction and purpose. If you want to have a meaningful achievement in life, you need to set goals and take actions towards their realization.

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How to Overcome the Pitfalls of Goal Setting

How many times did you hear that you need to set a goal in order to have a meaningful achievement in your life? This process is sometimes oversimplified to just determining what you want and writing it on a piece of paper and then you can forget about it and somehow it magically comes into your life.
Many people got carried away by the Law of Attraction and The Secret. While it is true, you need to change your mind, cultivate the positive thinking, know exactly what you want and write it down, this is just the first step of the goal setting and achieving process. If you just stop there you will never be able to achieve what you want.
Here are some steps to help you avoid goal setting pitfalls:
1. Decide exactly what you want; write it down. Make it specific and measurable and put a deadline on it. For example, I want to lose 20 pounds in 8 weeks or I’ll double my income in one year.
2. Identify everything you need to do to achieve your desired outcome. Add to your list every day till you think your list is complete. Also identify the possible obstacles and the ways you are going to overcome them. At this stage you can also further clarify your goal if needed.
Meditation and breathing exercises can help clear your mind and find out easier ways to achieve what you want.
3. Identify what habits and qualities you need to achieve what you want and what qualities that you have will hamper the progress. Replace your old habits with the new ones by using them in your daily life to reinforce them till they become automatic.
Meanwhile to support this process listen to subliminal or binaural tapes, do different visualizations and affirmations exercises.
4. Take the list that you created in step 2 and make a plan. Prioritize it and start working on your goal immediately. Continue working on it every day. Read motivational books or listen to motivational tapes daily to help you develop the right frame of mind.
5. Cultivate positive thinking and do affirmations and visualizations daily.

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Habits Shape Our Lives

We live our lives on an autopilot system called habits. From the morning till night whatever we do or say is controlled by our habits. Habits help simplify our lives so we can do the same things over and over again without thinking. While the right habits lead us to success, wrong ones actually hamper it.
If you are not successful in your life, examine things you do during the day, how you do them, how you make your decisions, how you spend your time during the day, what kind of phrases you use. Everything you do, say or even think throughout the day determines your success or failure.
Happily, it is possible to learn new habits that will help you succeed in life. You can’t just get rid of negative habits; they need to be replaced by new ones that will support you to achieve what you want.
Here are some steps to help you succeed with cultivating new habits:
1. You need to have a goal that you want to achieve. Identify your goals.
2. Identify your habits. This requires some thinking. Write down all the activities you do during the day for couple of days, how you make your decisions, what usually affects your decision making (fear, desire to remain in comfort zone no matter how stale it is, laziness, inability to organize yourself, etc).
3. Identify the new habits you need to develop in order to achieve your goals. Imagine that you already have what you want, what kind of person you are? What qualities do you have? Examine the qualities of people who already achieved what you want - what do they have in common? Write down the list of qualities that you need.
4. Think how you can use the new quality in your daily life. Consciously choose to react differently, in a way consistent with the new quality you are cultivating.
Let’s say you want to use your time more effectively and identified some time wasters such as checking e-mails every 10 minutes. Decide that you will check your e-mail only once a day; stay conscious throughout the day and implement your new schedule.
5. Use the new quality consistently over a period of time till it becomes your new habit. Now you are on your way to achieve your goals.
Some habits are harder to eliminate than others. For example, all addictions are habits but because they change the chemistry of the brain it is hard to eliminate them – outside help might be needed for this. Just remember that nothing is impossible: if at some point you learned to do something you can always unlearn it and cultivate something new that is positive and moves you forward in life.

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Monday, December 1, 2008

Success or Failure?

There are no negative or positive events; there is no success or failure. Every success contains a failure element in it and every failure has success elements in it. This is similar to yin and yang principles.
Success can turn out to be a failure and a failure can eventually become a cause of success. If we take the Edison’s example, did he fail many times before he succeeded with his invention? According to him it wasn’t failure – it was just a discovery of how
not to proceed.
Let’s take an example of my friend. At some point of her life she wanted to become a certified professional. In addition to degrees that she had, she needed to take 10 more University courses leading to a certificate and pass four comprehensive professional exams. She successfully graduated her University courses and was on the Dean’s honor list for her academic achievements. She also passed all her professional exams and was on the top ten list for her achievements. Was it a success or failure? From the point of view of who she was in the past it was a big success. From the point of view of who she is now it was a failure – she wasted many years, lots of money and energy on something she didn’t really like, something that didn’t bring her satisfaction. But was it really a failure? It made her realize that she can achieve everything if she wants to, she learned how to persevere and work hard to realize her goals. So I am asking again, was it a success or a failure? Neither. Success and failure exist in everything; it just seems to be that they are separated because of the illusion of time.
So instead of labeling events just enjoy things why they last and let them go when it is time for them to go. If you don’t resist the present, every moment will be special.

Overcoming Irritation

How often it happens when we wake up in a good mood and then little things start happening that irritate us. It might be children screaming, dog barking, traffic jam or anything else. These things accumulate during the day and at the end of the day we are angry and stressed out
Let’s consider why things irritate us. Irritation as any other negative emotion is a form of resistance created by our unconscious mind in an attempt to resolve the situation. However our inner negative reaction cannot stop the outside dog barking, for example. Irritation not only doesn’t help it also puts the body under the unnecessarily stress.
Eckhart Tolle in his book “Practicing the Power of Now” suggests that we practice being transparent. Just imagine that you are transparent so any negative comments, unwanted noises pass through you without touching you in any way. This is a way of acceptance, a way to reacting to the outside world without resistance.
The less reactive we become to annoying factors of our lives, the sooner they will disappear.

Life Skills Coaching

Life skill coaching is a form of an adult education. Life skills coaches use techniques like structured exercises, small group discussions and role-playing to facilitate behavior change and also facilitate learning. In life skills coaching, coaches create an atmosphere where the participants feel safe to take risks by trying out new behaviors to enhance their life skills. Life skills coaches also conduct one-to-one sessions that can be successfully delivered over the Internet.

Career coaching can help people find the passion they have lost in their chosen careers or find courage required to move on to a new career. The whole process involves exploring possibilities, the discovery of a new passion and finally the preparation of a sound plan ready to be implemented.

A time management coach is a life skills coach who will assist you in managing your time correctly to achieve your goals. This type of coaching is related to the goal-setting and achieving process – they can be done together. The goal setting and achieving process will help you discover who you are – your passions, priorities and talents. In this area the life-skills coach will also help you set and achieve proactive and powerful goals, develop your team goals and break out of self-defeating behaviors. Apart from the above, a life skills coach will also prove to be a supportive partner throughout the process and ensure that your goals are achieved.

The duties of a nutrition coach include identifying factors that may be affecting your health and then devising a food and supplement program to raise your health level. Once that is done, the life skills coach might also provide you with ongoing support and guidance through e-mails, telephone conversations, home visits, follow up consultations, etc.

Nutritional coaching can also be done over the Internet through a series of self-assessment questionnaires, hair mineral analyses and a great amount of material. This is the most empowering way to change detrimental eating habits.

Like the name suggests, a relaxation coach will introduce you to various simple techniques which will help you relax in tense situations, fall asleep easily as well as heal the damage your body has gone through as a result of stress. The life skills coach will combine different techniques that might include meditation, education about the importance of relaxation, journaling, mindfulness techniques and many others to make a lasting change in your life.

The duties of a fitness coach involve teaching the client everything there is to know about fitness. He/she will also show the client how to implement small changes that build upon each other and what to do in order to see measurable progress from their fitness program.
Other areas open to coaching are finances, parenting skills and relationships.